That's the title of my Tuesday night Bible study class. Bible study always makes me think of Fight Club: "it's cheaper than a movie and there's free coffee." Anyway.
You know what the real bait of Satan is? Seed catalogs. I said it before and I have seen no reason to change my mind: seed catalogs are the work of the devil. They're full of lurid temptations.
See, in my fall bulbs order from Veseys, there wasn't just bulbs, but also, a catalog. the "spring 2012 advance sale" bulb catalog. Now bulbs are easier to resist than seeds, because they're much more expensive and you have to actually have a place for them, not just figure "oh, I'll put them in the Jungle, they'll be fine." You can seed 4000 seeds in a big pile and tell yourself it's ok; bulbs won't let you do that. So to make sure you buy these advance spring bulbs, Veseys is offering $35 off any orders above $75 from that catalog. Not from seeds or from any other catalog, but strictly from the advance spring bulbs.
Hmmmmm...
So I open the catalog and the first thing I find is a really beautiful peony for... $39.95.
Ha.
On the one hand, that's an expensive peony, especially considering it's a herbaceous and not a tree peony. On the other hand, it really is beautiful, and no one else in town has it, and peonies activate your feng shui. And besides, if I buy this peony, plus another $0.05 of product, I get $35 free. Oh, and also, your credit card doesn't get charged until they're ready to ship in the spring, so it doesn't matter that I don't have the money right now.
The funny thing is, there wasn't really another $35.05 worth of product I wanted in that catalog. A lot of perennials don't really appeal to me in the first place, and in any case they're not hardy for Zone 0a. But like I've said before, zone, schmone. Peonies are supposed to be hardy to Zone 3 and they're all over this town. Maydays are hardy to Zone 2 and some of the tallest cultivated trees in town are maydays. (If you're here in Hay River, check out the one at 8 Mansell. That is one crazy mofo.) In addition, my balcony is a warmer climate than most of the town. I get more hours of sunlight, less frost and more heat. Only the hollyhocks at 39 Riverview lasted almost as long as my pansies, but even they died in a hard frost when my flowers were still alive. So I figure anything that's Zone 3 is fine, Zone 4 is plausible, Zone 5 is a stretch. On the other hand, anything that has Zone 5 as its cold limit typically goes to Zone 8 or Zone 9, which is to say it doesn't need really cold weather to set flowers, so it can probably be brought inside. And some plants can also be dug and stored, particularly tulips. The others are of limited interest to me.
So... Where does that leave us? Still not wanting $35.05 of product from this catalog, but since it was free, I ordered some oriental lilies, toad lilies and windflowers. I covet the windflowers in every catalog and I always don't get them because they're only hardy to Zone 5, but, we'll see.
So, if I can remember to load up some money on my credit card in spring when they go to ship this, I get a spectacular peony that no one else in town has, plus $35 of free flowers. And that ain't not bad. And that, I suppose, is exactly why Veseys does this. Because they just sold me an extra $35.05 of flowers. For free, mind you, but I'm assuming their markup is so grotesque that they can absorb this promotion easily.
Seed catalogs: truly the bait of Satan.
You know what the real bait of Satan is? Seed catalogs. I said it before and I have seen no reason to change my mind: seed catalogs are the work of the devil. They're full of lurid temptations.
See, in my fall bulbs order from Veseys, there wasn't just bulbs, but also, a catalog. the "spring 2012 advance sale" bulb catalog. Now bulbs are easier to resist than seeds, because they're much more expensive and you have to actually have a place for them, not just figure "oh, I'll put them in the Jungle, they'll be fine." You can seed 4000 seeds in a big pile and tell yourself it's ok; bulbs won't let you do that. So to make sure you buy these advance spring bulbs, Veseys is offering $35 off any orders above $75 from that catalog. Not from seeds or from any other catalog, but strictly from the advance spring bulbs.
Hmmmmm...
So I open the catalog and the first thing I find is a really beautiful peony for... $39.95.
Ha.
On the one hand, that's an expensive peony, especially considering it's a herbaceous and not a tree peony. On the other hand, it really is beautiful, and no one else in town has it, and peonies activate your feng shui. And besides, if I buy this peony, plus another $0.05 of product, I get $35 free. Oh, and also, your credit card doesn't get charged until they're ready to ship in the spring, so it doesn't matter that I don't have the money right now.
The funny thing is, there wasn't really another $35.05 worth of product I wanted in that catalog. A lot of perennials don't really appeal to me in the first place, and in any case they're not hardy for Zone 0a. But like I've said before, zone, schmone. Peonies are supposed to be hardy to Zone 3 and they're all over this town. Maydays are hardy to Zone 2 and some of the tallest cultivated trees in town are maydays. (If you're here in Hay River, check out the one at 8 Mansell. That is one crazy mofo.) In addition, my balcony is a warmer climate than most of the town. I get more hours of sunlight, less frost and more heat. Only the hollyhocks at 39 Riverview lasted almost as long as my pansies, but even they died in a hard frost when my flowers were still alive. So I figure anything that's Zone 3 is fine, Zone 4 is plausible, Zone 5 is a stretch. On the other hand, anything that has Zone 5 as its cold limit typically goes to Zone 8 or Zone 9, which is to say it doesn't need really cold weather to set flowers, so it can probably be brought inside. And some plants can also be dug and stored, particularly tulips. The others are of limited interest to me.
So... Where does that leave us? Still not wanting $35.05 of product from this catalog, but since it was free, I ordered some oriental lilies, toad lilies and windflowers. I covet the windflowers in every catalog and I always don't get them because they're only hardy to Zone 5, but, we'll see.
So, if I can remember to load up some money on my credit card in spring when they go to ship this, I get a spectacular peony that no one else in town has, plus $35 of free flowers. And that ain't not bad. And that, I suppose, is exactly why Veseys does this. Because they just sold me an extra $35.05 of flowers. For free, mind you, but I'm assuming their markup is so grotesque that they can absorb this promotion easily.
Seed catalogs: truly the bait of Satan.
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