Thursday. I collect my paycheque, convert most of it into a money order to pay rent, and repair to the hardware store for my Liquid Gypsum.
Yay, Liquid Gypsum!
But I have an engagement for Thursday night, so I leave it till tomorrow.
Friday. Today. First thing I did this morning was to...
read the instructions.
Seriously. I'm the only person I even know who reads instructions. Instructions are awesome. I think it's awesome that somewhere in the world, someone I will never meet has written down all the knowledge I need to use this product, and here I am receiving this knowledge, just like that, effortlessly. Writing is like magic.
Under the instructions, however, they list the ingredients. 90% calcium chloride.
WTF? Calcium chloride is better known to most people as the salt we use on roads. So how is salt supposed to treat my salt problem?
Then I thought about it. First of all, one way to create gypsum is when hydrochloric acid dissolves limestone, which is made of calcium. So indeed, while not all CaCl is gypsum, gypsum is chemically CaCl. And second, the reason we put calcium chloride on roads rather than, say, sodium chloride (table salt), is because calcium chloride doesn't kill plants.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Anyway. Instructions: apply 32 oz. per 1000 sq.ft. For severe problems, it is safe to double the dose.
Ok, great. What's that in metric? Well one cup (in baking) is approximately 8 oz. or approximately 250 mL. It's not exact, but close. Therefore 32 oz. = 4 x 8 oz. = 4 x 250 mL = 1000 L. And my lemon planters are 1 sq.ft. each, so I need (1000 mL / 1000 sq.ft) x 1 sq.ft. = 1 mL per tree, except it's a severe problem, so 2 mL per tree.
Excellent.
But I only have cooking utensils to measure quantities, and in cooking spoons, 1/2 tsp = 2.5 mL. So how do I measure out 2 mL rather than 2.5 mL?
Simple. I measured 2.5 mL, put it in the measuring cup, and then added water to 250 mL. Then I mixed it and dumped out 50 mL. The remaining liquid in the cup is 2 mL of Liquid Gypsum and 198 mL of water. (Approximately, of course.)
The only thing is, it also says to water for 15 minutes to work the gypsum into the soil. Hmmmmmmm... Well my trees can't take 15 minutes of water, but I'm willing to give them 3 L each. That's probably close enough.
In the afternoon, I also split a cup of gypsum solution between Deng Xiaoping and my remaining pear trees.
I love knowledge. In fact, I was recently reading a book about addiction, which as I had already theorised, is a way to replace deficient brain reward systems with artificial ones. And I was wondering why I don't have an addiction when I do seem to have deficient brain reward systems. Then I remembered that "being certain" is a brain reward, and on the other hand, I have a rather obsessive way of pursuing knowledge. I concluded therefore that absorbing knowledge is my way to give myself brain rewards. You might say I'm pleasuring myself with knowledge.
And here you thought this blog was G-rated, eh?
Yay, Liquid Gypsum!
But I have an engagement for Thursday night, so I leave it till tomorrow.
Friday. Today. First thing I did this morning was to...
read the instructions.
Seriously. I'm the only person I even know who reads instructions. Instructions are awesome. I think it's awesome that somewhere in the world, someone I will never meet has written down all the knowledge I need to use this product, and here I am receiving this knowledge, just like that, effortlessly. Writing is like magic.
Under the instructions, however, they list the ingredients. 90% calcium chloride.
WTF? Calcium chloride is better known to most people as the salt we use on roads. So how is salt supposed to treat my salt problem?
Then I thought about it. First of all, one way to create gypsum is when hydrochloric acid dissolves limestone, which is made of calcium. So indeed, while not all CaCl is gypsum, gypsum is chemically CaCl. And second, the reason we put calcium chloride on roads rather than, say, sodium chloride (table salt), is because calcium chloride doesn't kill plants.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Anyway. Instructions: apply 32 oz. per 1000 sq.ft. For severe problems, it is safe to double the dose.
Ok, great. What's that in metric? Well one cup (in baking) is approximately 8 oz. or approximately 250 mL. It's not exact, but close. Therefore 32 oz. = 4 x 8 oz. = 4 x 250 mL = 1000 L. And my lemon planters are 1 sq.ft. each, so I need (1000 mL / 1000 sq.ft) x 1 sq.ft. = 1 mL per tree, except it's a severe problem, so 2 mL per tree.
Excellent.
But I only have cooking utensils to measure quantities, and in cooking spoons, 1/2 tsp = 2.5 mL. So how do I measure out 2 mL rather than 2.5 mL?
Simple. I measured 2.5 mL, put it in the measuring cup, and then added water to 250 mL. Then I mixed it and dumped out 50 mL. The remaining liquid in the cup is 2 mL of Liquid Gypsum and 198 mL of water. (Approximately, of course.)
The only thing is, it also says to water for 15 minutes to work the gypsum into the soil. Hmmmmmmm... Well my trees can't take 15 minutes of water, but I'm willing to give them 3 L each. That's probably close enough.
In the afternoon, I also split a cup of gypsum solution between Deng Xiaoping and my remaining pear trees.
I love knowledge. In fact, I was recently reading a book about addiction, which as I had already theorised, is a way to replace deficient brain reward systems with artificial ones. And I was wondering why I don't have an addiction when I do seem to have deficient brain reward systems. Then I remembered that "being certain" is a brain reward, and on the other hand, I have a rather obsessive way of pursuing knowledge. I concluded therefore that absorbing knowledge is my way to give myself brain rewards. You might say I'm pleasuring myself with knowledge.
And here you thought this blog was G-rated, eh?
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