Ok, this has nothing to do with gardening, but since I started writing reasons on this blog, you're stuck with it.
On Sunday, my car didn't start. So I went and got my work vehicle and my cables, boosted my car, and went about my day.
Gasp!
You'd think that knowing how to boost a car wouldn't be the end of the world. I mean, considering that the guy I like to look at has been with a woman who beats him for a few years (off and on, after his off-and-on relationship of many years with his abusive ex-wife ended), you'd think that knowing how to boost a car would be somewhat forgivable.
The only thing is, a more likely to get laid woman would have gone looking for a big burly dude with a big burly truck and let him do the boosting. And refrained from pointing out that almost every big burly dude in the world will inevitably connect the cables wrong.
Ok, here is another reason that actually has to do with the garden. Now that it's cold and snowy, I've started feeding my raven again. Wait... That's one reason right there. But actually, there seem to be currently as many as three ravens: Chicken, his girlfriend Squeaky, and another guy named Hoggle whom Chicken beats up whenever he sees him. (Naming ravens: two reasons.) But most importantly, ravens don't care where they crap, and in particular, one crapped in the food dish this morning. And I don't like to have to wash bird crap off my dishes. Who knows but they might carry psittacosis, or something. (I can spell "psittacosis" and I know what it is: three, four reasons.) So I was thinking how to prevent that, and being also an Occupational Health & Safety leader (four reasons), the first idea that came to me is to write them a sign. "Ravens: please refrain from crapping in food dish."
Yes. I'm sure there is hope for spinsters who write OH&S signs for ravens.
And you know what's really sad? Even though I obviously know that ravens can't read, the OH&S leader in me refuses to let go of the notion that this is obviously an occupational hygiene problem and occupational hygiene problems can be solved by signs.
And another reason I'm single is, I actually wrote all these thoughts.
On Sunday, my car didn't start. So I went and got my work vehicle and my cables, boosted my car, and went about my day.
Gasp!
You'd think that knowing how to boost a car wouldn't be the end of the world. I mean, considering that the guy I like to look at has been with a woman who beats him for a few years (off and on, after his off-and-on relationship of many years with his abusive ex-wife ended), you'd think that knowing how to boost a car would be somewhat forgivable.
The only thing is, a more likely to get laid woman would have gone looking for a big burly dude with a big burly truck and let him do the boosting. And refrained from pointing out that almost every big burly dude in the world will inevitably connect the cables wrong.
Ok, here is another reason that actually has to do with the garden. Now that it's cold and snowy, I've started feeding my raven again. Wait... That's one reason right there. But actually, there seem to be currently as many as three ravens: Chicken, his girlfriend Squeaky, and another guy named Hoggle whom Chicken beats up whenever he sees him. (Naming ravens: two reasons.) But most importantly, ravens don't care where they crap, and in particular, one crapped in the food dish this morning. And I don't like to have to wash bird crap off my dishes. Who knows but they might carry psittacosis, or something. (I can spell "psittacosis" and I know what it is: three, four reasons.) So I was thinking how to prevent that, and being also an Occupational Health & Safety leader (four reasons), the first idea that came to me is to write them a sign. "Ravens: please refrain from crapping in food dish."
Yes. I'm sure there is hope for spinsters who write OH&S signs for ravens.
And you know what's really sad? Even though I obviously know that ravens can't read, the OH&S leader in me refuses to let go of the notion that this is obviously an occupational hygiene problem and occupational hygiene problems can be solved by signs.
And another reason I'm single is, I actually wrote all these thoughts.
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