Tuesday, November 8, 2011

How to pasteurize soil

Actually, I have no idea, in that I'm quite sure I'm not in the process of succeeding. But in theory, here is how you either pasteurize or sterilize soil, depending who you ask.

Moisten soil, to the moisture content you want for planting. Put soil in an oven-safe dish, no more than four inches deep (the soil, not the dish). Cover tightly. Stick a meat thermometer into the soil. Then, heat the soil until the internal temperature reaches 180 F, and maintain this temperature for 30 minutes. Done.

First caveat: allegedly, this process produces a foul odour. Second caveat: allegedly, if you cook your soil to 200 F, it will produce toxic chemicals that will kill your plants.

Ok. Whatever. I wasn't gonna try it, but I'm getting more and more seeds that are expensive (as seeds go) and hard to germinate, and which therefore spend a long time in the ground getting eaten by the fungi. Usually I just pour boiling water on the soil, on the theory that more heat for a shorter time works for milk, and what's good for milk has got to be good for soil. Nonetheless, I decided that perhaps I should try the real deal. Except I don't have a meat thermometer, nor did I feel like buying one, so I thought, "meh."

Ok. I wet the soil, put it in the dish, covered with foil, preheated oven to 180 F. Except the markings start at 200 F, so that was a best guess anyway. And then I suddenly remembered that the last time I used this oven, being in 2009, it didn't work right and took hours to bake anything, and I had to turn it way up. Hmmmmm... Then I remembered that allegedly it was repaired in 2010, but I haven't baked since, so I have no idea whether it's really fixed.

Hmmmmmm...

I used to bake and cook, you know. Before I became a bitter old spinster. But anyway.

After the soil had been in the oven 15 minutes, I decided it mustn't be working, because there was no foul odour. But then I noticed corrosive fumes, which however were not previously mentioned, and might be caused, possibly, by the oven being dirty, or maybe there are cobwebs in there or whatever. In any case, I figured that corrosive fumes were just as good as foul odours. I opened the window, which was stupid since I only just yesterday got the landlord to put the heat up, after the temperature in my apartment had reached down to 62 F. Then I went to walk the dog, leaving the oven on, the window open, and some scented candles burning, none of which are safe practices. Oh well. My Field Level Risk Assessment tells me this was a low-priority hazard.

Returning from my walk 45 minutes later, I detected more corrosive fumes, but still no foul odour. I opened the oven, still no foul odour. Hmmmm...

At first I decided to leave well enough alone, until I remembered that soil most definitely produces a characteristic smell when you pour boiling water on it, and therefore if it wasn't smelling, it really mustn't be hot enough. Stupid oven... And stupid me for being too lazy to get that meat thermometer.

So, at the time of writing, the soil is still in the oven, now cranked to 250 F, the window still open, and still no foul odour detected. Sigh... I'd really like to go to bed, you know.

Now you might be thinking that the question is not so much "how" as "why" I'm pasteurizing soil. Simple. As you recall, some seeds rot instead of growing. This is due to vermin in the soil such as larvae, fungi, molds, bacteria, and who knows what else. Also, all my soil is riddled with zombie seeds. Pasteurizing is supposed to get rid of just about every living thing in the soil, so your seeds don't get eaten.

Wait and see, I guess. Or keep calm and carry on. Or something.

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